Should You Share a Bed With Your Partner?
According to a study by the National Sleep Foundation, about 10% of couples sleep in different rooms and 25% of couples sleep in different beds. And while it is “traditional” for couples to share a bed, this rising trend of sleeping apart is beginning to challenge this norm. There are both pros and cons to sharing a bed with your partner, just like there are when sleeping with your pet.
Some Benefits of Sleeping Together
Some studies have indicated that there are benefits for couples to share a bed. Couples who sleep together can have longer stages of REM sleep. Sleeping next to your partner can also reduce anxiety, lower blood pressure and improve your immune system. There is also a correlation between sleeping next to your partner and a feeling of safety and security. There is also a sense of emotional “closeness” that comes with pillow talk and night or morning snuggles.
Challenges of Sleeping Together
There are also some challenges associated with sleeping next to your partner. Tossing and turning from your partner can interrupt your sleep. Differences in body temperatures can lead to one partner feeling too hot or too cold. Snoring, sleep apnea, restless leg syndrome or other sleep disorders could also impact the sleep quality of your partner.
Image borrowed from Woman’s Day.
So Should You Share a Bed With Your Partner?
There is no single answer as to if you should sleep next to your partner or not. For many people, cozying up to your loved one when you’re ready to snooze is the best thing in the world. For others, it’s best to sleep sprawled out on your own. It’s important to remember that couples who sleep apart aren’t any less committed to each other than those that do. Sleep is so important to every aspect of your life so if sleeping apart is what you need, then there’s no shame in that.
When to Share a Bed With Your Partner
At the end of the day, you should share a bed with your partner if you want to. If both of you are happy with the sleep you’re getting then it’s probably working well for both of you.
Having a larger bed like a queen or king can also give the benefits of having extra space while still being able to snuggle if you choose to.
When To Sleep in Separate Beds or Rooms
Some of the reasons you may choose to sleep in separate beds or even separate rooms could be if one partner has any of the sleep challenges listed above: snoring, sleep apnea, sleep disorders, if they get super hot while sleeping or if they tend to toss and turn a lot in their sleep.
Other reasons that you may choose to sleep apart could be if one partner works shift work, or gets up early, or when lifestyle changes happen that could impact sleep schedules. New babies, for example, could be a reason for partners to sleep apart so that one parent can get a good night’s sleep while the other can help care for the baby in the night.
The Benefits of a Good Night's Sleep
Sleeping well is great for relationships as a whole. When you feel rested, you have more energy to put into that relationship. A lack of sleep can make your attention span shorter and make you more irritable. So sleeping well can help you bring your best self to your relationship.
Ignore Stigmas & Do What Works For You
If sleeping your best means sleeping with your partner then do that. If it means seeping apart, then there’s no shame in that. Maybe it’s a mix of both! The best thing you can do when deciding if you should sleep next to your partner or not is to make a choice that works best for you. Talk about it, and don't be afraid to ask for what you need.